And not necessarily in that order.
i feeel sick. both emotionally and physically. me and the bf are fighting horrribly. i made myself a drink and got pretty tipsy. then i got a pizza and ate almost the whole thing. after i had such a awonderful day at the gym this morning. ughhhhh!!!! im sabotaging myself. why????? i must not really want to be skinny. maybe i think i cant handle it. for the first time in a while i didnt cut because of my emotions. but i ate and drank.and ate some more. i had 2 bowls of cereal and half a pizza today. that pizza fucked up my intake for the day.
but on the bright side im doing the salt water flush in the morning and goin to try a 7 day fast. its been a while since ive done one. and im scared i wont be able to stick to it. finger crossed.
i really want to purge. im a binger. but have never purged in my life. i hate this fat in my stomach. i dont want to be full of pepperonis and cheese. i want to be light and feathery. and i think im lactose intolerant. i never was before but i get such an upset stomach when i eat dairy.
Oh, i saw Black Swan yesterday. one word. unforgettable. i could totally relate to nina. but it is a complete mind fuck. youll leave the theatre confused, scared, and happy. all at the same time. i loved it and definetly want to see it again. im sure there were 100 things that went over my head.
i am watching Everybody loves Raymond. and i can not stop laughing. he is so hilarious. ive loved this show since it first premiered. anywho, i hope you ladies have a great day, and even greater nights!
ilove all 51 of you!
Self Control is the only thing standing in the way of who you are and who you deserve to be.
I find that every time I drink I lose control, so I generally like to stay away from alcohol but that is just me. We all binge at some point or another. Black swan sounds like an amazing movie, I can't wait to see it!
ReplyDeletexo Chloe
sorry trhat u and the boy are fighting and sorry taht ur ahving a rough time with food
ReplyDeletebe happy that u cant pruge though cause it is addcting and hard to sotp once u start
im jealous that u got to c it
stay strong hun
Purging only helped me lose weight the time I threw up blood - what's known as coffee ground vomitus - and was too scared to eat for awhile afterwards. Better that we learn how to make healthier choices. That's the reality of bulimia, anyway; you're all too aware of your corporeal body from its bloated stomach to swollen glands near the face, with a mental fogginess that doesn't make you feel light at all.
ReplyDeleteHopefully all your hard work at the gym cancelled out the binge. Good luck with your fast, careful with your flush.
Ahhh....I can't wait to see that movie!!!
ReplyDeleteI get the same way when I fight with hubby - I'll either fast, binge, or cut. I just can't handle fighting & what it does to me emotionally. I hope today is much, much better for you!
fasting with you sounds like a great idea :)
ReplyDeletewhat is your msn? or something?
Just remember tomorrow is a new day and you will be able to do soooooo much better, I hope its better for you xoxoxo
Stay Strong babe