Imperfection at it's best

I wish my boyfriend thought i was perfect. who doesn't, right? it's just really sad that he doesn't. i think im pretty good at making him happy and being supportive and all that good stuff. but mostly i just want him to think my body is perfect. i know he genuinely loves me and he constantly tells me im beautiful and sexy but i wish i was his ideal of perfection. we just rated each others body parts. he rated certain body parts lower than i expected him too. but of course i took it all in stride and acted really nonchalant about it. i just want him to be pdroud of my body. he likes to show me off to his friend cuz he thinks im pretty but thats not enough. i just really want to be skinny so bad. im doing good on my fast. im craving pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust and chocolate chip cookies (my ultimate weakness) but everytime i think about caving in i think about my bf and how badly i wantt o be perfect for him. its such a slow process though. i spend so much timetalking abput how thin i want to be and how fat i feel. i know hes fed up with it. he just says if you want it so bad stop talking about it nd do it. so thats what im going to do. im not going to eat And then feel the entire weekend being depressed. im going to starve until all the intertube around my stomachand thighs are gone. i want to look fragile and delicate. i want to stroll along the beach in a bikini and for him to be able to lift me with ease.

ill get there. i promise.