Yesterday was amazing . today is horrible

Yesterday i had an intake of 300 and i was floating on a fucking cloud. i worked a 10 hr shift then hit the gym for 2 hrs and burned 515 calories. i was elated. i felt sooo good about myself. like i could fly. i love that feeling. i crave that feeling. being empty and hungry is so satisfying. i feel just a tad bit better about myself for doing it. everyone around me is giving into food. and i manage to stay strong. i know, i have a superiority complex. but, none the less, im thrilled. ive lost 3 pounds since sunday. i woke up in the best mood, despite having to come in to work at the crack of dawn. but, the cherry on top was i finally got this months NYLON. only my favorite magazine, in the world. that thing is like THINSPO HEAVEN! and the music is to die for. you girls seriously need to subscribe. you wont regret it, promise.


Today is an entirely different story. Like i said, i woke up in a nice mood. and then something so horrible happend. my job had coffee and DONUTS in the break room. i made the mental note to avoid it at all cost. then, like a robot i just walked in and did the unthinkable. i ate not one, but 2 donuts! i feel lower than ive ever felt. for the first time in my life, i tried to binge. unsuccessfully of course. i barely have anything in my stomach, and nothing would come up.now im sitting in the fitting room and i feel so gross and FAT! i really let myself down. but i made a promise to myself that i would burn atleast 1,000 calories tonight. ill just have to stay 3 hrs instead of 2. ill probably go around 5. by the grace of God i get off at 2, afterwards im going to get a mani and pedi. go home and make a playlist for the gym, and be on the treadmill by 5..ish.

speaking of playlist, what is your favorite music to listen to while working out? so far i have:
Pink-raise your glass
Black eyed peas-imma be
David banner-play
Kanye West-workout plan
katy perry-california girls
Avril
Boys like girls
i need some more kick ass songs to keep me moving.
so pleassseeee give me suggestions, anything helps.

i also wanted to take a minute to say that each and every one of you are wonderfully amazing. i know that older generations say that internet is the cause of the disconnect amongst our generation. but i strongly disagree. on the internet, i managed to find people that i can tell any and everything without fear of being judged. you girls AND guys are a special group of people, dont ever forget it. i love all the positivity and support here. your comments and kind words mean so much to me. for the first time, i feel like someone really gets me, you know? i hope we continue to uplift one another when we need it most. you girls are amazing, i truly mean that. i am a firm believer in karma, and you girls are going to get shit loads, of the good kind of course :)

stay beautiful and unique!
remember im always a comment or email away if you ever wanna talk. i love all 43 of you!